This is not directed at anyone specific but as a public service announcement from one of the colorful 10%. I am a gay man and am only 1 of 10% of the population. I recognize that as a minority in a society that is only just learning to acknowledge their minorities, that my point of view will be misunderstood by most. Our society is Heteronormative and Heterocentric. But even saying that can be controversial, because what right does 10% have to question a society of 90%. But I digress. The purpose of my post is to inform the 90% about somethings:
1. Being gay is not a choice, we are born this way. And while I can’t speak for our female allies, I can say that being a gay male has been shown to be genetically determined. The “gay gene” is actually a naturally occurring and functional mutation on the X chromosome of gay males. Further proof of this is that biochemically, gay males produce a hormone that straight males do not. And it’s the female hormone known as Progesterone. But don’t mistake the fact that we’re still male and still have and produce all the same hormones as straight males. We just produce an extra one.
2. The reason for me bringing this up is not just to highlight the difference, but also the sameness that gay men have with straight men. Just because we’re gay, in this I am speaking of all gay people, does not mean that we are automatically infertile or Sterile. This also means that just because we are not driven to be with the opposite sex, does not in any way mean that we somehow have lost or relinquished our natural human instinct to procreate and have our own progeny (children of our own blood) or to have a desire to parent. Meaning Maternal and Paternal instincts. All still there. That’s not to say that many gay people aren’t socially conscious and as a result would rather adopt the many orphaned children out there, sacrificing their own drive to have children of their own blood. But that’s not all of us.
3. While, like I said above, many gay people opt to adopt from the overflowing numbers of orphans domestically and abroad. That is not the only avenue available to us. Like I said above, we are by no means infertile or sterile, so there is surrogacy available to us. Unfortunately since that involves the use of In-Vitro Fertilization (unless the gay people involved are open minded enough to do it the “old fashioned” way), this avenue is often only open to those with considerable resources at their disposal. But still, just because a gay man doesn’t have a woman or a Lesbian doesn’t have a man, means nothing, and to say so leads to my fourth and final point.
4. You don’t have to use a gay slur or physically assault a gay person to be homophobic. You just need to regard us, in any way, as less than you. If you do, then congratulations, you’re a homophobe. This is said not to shock or insult, but to make you think about what you say, and how you you say it, before you say it. None of us are perfect and I suspect that many people who don’t realize this fact pride themselves in how homophobic that they are not. So if a gay person points something like this out to you, no matter how much you feel that you are not a homophobe, you don’t really have a place or right to be offended or insulted by that gay person. If you’re not gay yourself then you can’t possibly understand how that gay person is feeling. You can sympathize, you can care, you can be compassionate (and please be so as much as possible, it is appreciated). But you cannot know, nor can you possibly feel the same.
Again, this is not directed at any individual but meant simply as a public service announcement to those of you who never knew.