Clear Sky, 37°F

20 Roselle Ave, Lancaster, PA 17603, USA

As written to Stehman after waking from this dream:

"We were in Europe somewhere. It felt like Germany, but everything was in English and everyone spoke perfect American English, no accent. Except for a boy that I was talking to about cell plans, specifically T-Mobile, MetroPCS, Sprint and Boost. He had an accent that could have been Italian. He was very excited about what I was telling him. But I remember panicking in my head because I was really trying to find you. We were together in the very beginning, it was at a shopping center, of sorts, that we were walking to for a reason. Before I started talking to the boy, we had gotten separated. I hadn’t resorted to using my phone yet. I just searched. After getting to the shopping center, and pointing out the store fronts for the carriers, the boy left. He was on his way to school. All those store fronts were on one side in a strip, and on the opposing side was the store we intended to go to. I went in and the store sold all kinds of things for a house like appliances and cabinets and such. No one greeted me, everyone was busy with someone and I remembered hearing everyone speaking English with German accents. I specifically remember hearing women’s voices. I went outside after not seeing or hearing you and was walking around. Then I saw a small crowd of men, all around our age. At first I paid them no mind, until I noticed that you were in the center, about to sit against the half wall there. Your back was to the strip with the cell carriers and off to the side of the front of the other store. I started to listen in and noticed that you knew most of them and they were all admirers. They were flirting with you and you were just ignoring the flirting but still carrying on friendly and familiar conversations with at least the one guy. You knew him especially well, like you previously dated but broke up and he still had feelings for you. You weren’t at all uncomfortable and was just poking fun of him, sarcastically telling him why you broke up. He actually looked significantly younger than us. I remember thinking that these men were more like an entourage for you, and that you acted like you were where you were meant to be. That anything having to do with me was non existent in your mind. After the ex started acting possessive of you and talking of sex, I stepped in and was poking you in the back as you were bending over to sit. He started saying something like that you were his and who the hell was I to talk to or even touch you. I got angry and repeated the same thing back to him stating that I was your fiancé. He looked at me confused and once you sat you rolled your eyes and confirmed that I was your fiancé. I remember feeling like my presence, and even existence was a huge annoyance to you and that you only "loved" me because you were trapped. Then I remember the ex getting into an argument with me about how I had no right to be angry or to yell at you and that you were entitled to your own feelings and thoughts, you were backing him up and agreeing, and so was the rest of the entourage. I remember at first yelling then loudly but calmly defending your right to have your own feelings and thoughts, in agreement, and stating that I wasn’t questioning that at all. The ex then countered that I was trying to make you think and feel the way I wanted. I defended that I was not doing such and reiterated that I not only believe but insist that you have your own thoughts and feelings and that I respect that. That I was merely expressing my own feelings and was yelling because I was upset and that I had a right to be upset. But the ex kept saying that I had no right to be upset and no matter what defense I had it fell on deaf ears. I remember feeling like you really just wanted me gone, even though you did push the ex away, not wanting him either. I remember me yelling that you would consider having sex with the ex but wouldn’t touch me, and I am your partner. And you getting mad and yelling back that you’ve never been with anyone and that you didn’t want anyone touching you. (That last part should be at the beginning). Then I woke up in a panic."

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